Programmer, game designer, geek.
The eleventh hour.
We have prepared, we are ready.
The eve of battle is upon us, the enemy stirs in the north.
The mood in our quarters is of nervous, hushed anticipation. Soldiers whisper in fear, the din of their silence unnerving and uncomfortable.
Then it starts. The lone violin playing out from the band’s tent, suddenly joined by a cello, and a trumpet.
Baaaa dum da dum daa da!
The unmistakable first few bars of Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries play out uninterrupted, the rest of the song drowned out by the thunderous applause and war cries of our armies.
There is nothing that can stop us now…
I’m so angry about this content blog’s theme that inserts a loading screen after the page has loaded, hiding the page until it’s done showing that shitty spinner.
There are some interesting UX stories about having to insert an artificial spinner or loading bar to reinforce the idea that something important was going on behind the scenes. There’s no excuse for doing something like that on a stupid Tumblr theme, though.
I’d be on board with it if there was actually something going on. If I disable js, tho, the page is there ~instantly and about fully functional.
I think loading widgets obscuring functionality are forgiveable if that functionality isn’t loaded enough for you to actually interact with it, provided that the UI will cause errors or unusual behaviour if you try to interact with it before it’s ready, and that you only obscure the parts of the UI that are currently unusable.
So if you have an RNG and you have a “cryptographically secure” button which uses entropy from some remote hardware that you attempt to connect to on load, there’s no reason to also obscure the “run-of-the-mill random number” button, since that button is perfectly serviceable without the connection.
Or in this case, since 90% of your content is text/images, there’s fuck all reason to obscure any of it during loading because the user can’t possibly fuck up interacting with text/images.
I love how potato in French is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”
like what stupid frenchman saw this:
and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”
j’adore comment ananas se dit pineapple en anglais, ce qui veut littéralement dire “pomme de pin”, genre quel type anglais a vu ça:
et s’est dit : “ow cette étrange big fruit ressemble à une, how do you say, POMME! hmmm… mais plutôt une pomme qui pousse dans les pins… HU HU HU! OH YES, IT’S A PINEAPPLE!”
(z’avez vu, on peut le faire aussi… hon hon hon!)
And then there’s Swedish, where strawberries are called “earth chaps”. Not chaps as in horse-riding trousers, by the way, chaps as in the term of endearment particularly used for elderly gentlemen or young lads.
Apparently my joke about wearing a Batman costume would have gone down well with the hiring manager, although the cited reason was that they are a fan of “Marvel”, which I’m reliably informed by Miranda was not the comic book publisher responsible for Batman - that would be DC. She (Miranda) offered some Marvel alternatives, but it’s rather a moot point since I’m neither the kind of person who owns comic book character costumes nor am I the kind of person who would actually wear one to an interview - although I dare say that kind of person would probably be hired on the spot by 99% of tech startups (that’s not a good thing, by the way). I’m not interviewing for a startup though, this is a spin-off from an established company.
Something comfortable, then. To paraphrase, even a t-shirt would be fine but it’s never recommended (unless you really do know that you’re worth your shit).
Also, I’m even more relaxed and reassured about the first-stage meeting because it’s now been elucidated for me as a simple 1-hour sit-down discussion about me, my interests and my philosophy regarding programming. As most of my followers probably are aware, I could talk for hours about my programming philosophy. Days, even.
And I’m also pretty sure my philosophy aligns mostly with what I expect the tech climate in Sweden is like. From what I’ve heard, Sweden is the California of Europe with programming being seen as a highly creative pursuit with philosophies mostly emanating from the “hacker” subculture of MIT - Larry Wall, ESR, a dash of Gnu, etc. but with less bigotry. I hope.
I definitely want to bring up the three virtues, therefore, but also point out that I subscribe to the paradoxical notion that Larry Wall’s three virtues also apply when inverted. So there are really six virtues. Larry Wall’s original three: laziness, impatience, and hubris; as well as their inversions: diligence, patience and humility. A programmer should be lazy enough to not want to repeat themselves ever, but diligent enough to meticulously cover every test case in their unit test, and organise their code so carefully that if someone asks “where is X defined?” the programmer doesn’t need to use any search functions to come up with the answer on the spot. A programmer should be impatient enough to want to write fast code that compiles, runs and passes tests quickly, but patient enough to “measure twice, cut once” and consider their problem carefully before diving into coding the solution. A programmer should take enormous pride in their work and should never discard the notion of reinventing the wheel (after all, the pneumatic tyre required a re-think of how wheels were designed and manufactured, so redesigning the wheel, at least, is not a completely stupid concept) but should be humble enough to admit when they don’t know something and to submit to a higher authority on the subject.
I think that just about covers every base. As long as I throw in a few comments about programming being an art form, I’ve definitely described my entire philosophy. Whether or not it ties in with the philosophy of the company I’m applying to, I can’t know in advance, but if it doesn’t then I guess I wouldn’t want to work there anyway.
One last thing concerns me. On the “frontend developer” job description (oh yes, I did my research very thoroughly for this), and I think on the role description I was sent for the C++ role (although I didn’t think much of it at the time), one of the criteria was “demands excellence from their peers”. Now, I do demand excellence from my peers - I don’t want my job to be picking up the slack and fixing the bugs introduced by Joe Bigotpants who spends half his day ogling the female developers and the rest of his day writing the shittest code known to mankind. I like the poster I got from theprofoundprogrammer.com that says “when I find out who wrote this, I’m going to [fucking] light them on fire” (I got the SFW version), that philosophy I can get behind. But equally I like to consider myself an understanding and compassionate individual, who would rather help a person learn to be better than simply tell them off for being crap. I don’t know how true that is of me, but that’s the philosophy I subscribe to in any case - so I’m always striving to be better at that. Would that make me a poor fit, because I’d be seen as too “lenient” on slackers/time-wasters? I should hope not. I might have to bring it up tomorrow…
I’ve also emailed my recruiter, asking a few questions about tomorrow’s first-stage interview (personality, by the looks of it).
I’m also going to run through a few basic algorithms, make sure I’m in peak C++ condition, as well as read through some of the Win32 API spec so I have something to talk about at an interview for a middleware developer working with Windows 7.
I’ve already done all my research (phase 1 of my prep plan), so I don’t need to worry about any of that. Hopefully I’ll be able to wow this guy with my techs-pertise. And not make any stupid puns like that on the day!